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Published on GlobalPost, ModernMom, LIVESTRONG, Synonym.com, and eHow

written as Emma Wells

If you can listen to songs that remind you of her without feeling down, you're probably over her.

If you can listen to songs that remind you of her without feeling down, you're probably over her.

10 Signs You Are Over Your Ex

GlobalPost Relationships

By now, all of your friends know that you and your partner are no longer an item. The post-breakup blues have had ups and downs, so how do you know that you are finally over your ex? See if any of these signs apply to you.

Turning Up the Radio

You can listen to music without thinking of him. Finally, not every single song on the radio applies specifically to your relationship. Bonus: You can listen to sad country songs or even “your” song without crying.

Going Out with Friends

You can talk to your friends without bringing her up. In fact, you might even learn what’s been going on in your friends’ lives now that you’re done monopolizing the conversation with your woes, according to Cosmopolitan Magazine.

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Are you keeping score with your friends?

Are you keeping score with your friends?

The female sex is often stereotyped as being “catty” and competitive, but this is at odds with the way women are socialized to get along and make everyone happy, says psychologist Lynn Margolies of PsychCentral. “Because women learn that they are not supposed to be competitive and win at others’ expense, their natural competitive spirit cannot be shared openly, happily, or even jokingly with other women,” she writes. “What could have been healthy competition becomes a secret feeling of envy and desire for the other to fail – laced with guilt and shame." Sound familiar? There are ways of putting an end to this unhealthy cycle.

Stay Confident

Dr. Margolies says that unhealthy competition between women often masks feelings of insecurity and fear of success, and that women can find themselves playing down their own success just to make their friends feel better. Instead of giving in to feelings of envy and anger because someone else represents the success you’d like to have, build yourself up with your own accomplishments. When you do something well, be proud of yourself. And don’t be afraid to try the things you’ve always wanted to do. A true friend will be happy for you.

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Critiquing colleagues is necessary and can be done in a positive manner.

Critiquing colleagues is necessary and can be done in a positive manner.

Critiquing a colleague may seem difficult at first. Many of us wonder how we can maintain supportive relationships with our colleagues if we also critique their performance. But a study by the Canadian Institute for Health Information in 2005 found that workers in a hospital who raised issues directly with each other were quantifiably more satisfied, committed, and effective coworkers. Feeling confident about critiquing your colleague’s performance in a positive manner can actually strengthen your relationship and increase your own job satisfaction.

A Two-Way Street

Constant criticism never builds trusting relationships, so it’s necessary to know when to critique and when to praise. Only offer a critique of a colleague with whom you already have a supportive relationship, and whom you praise for his/her work often. Your colleague may then trust you enough to ask for your honest opinion, in which case you have been invited to make suggestions. If your opinion hasn’t been invited, decide whether the issue is important enough to warrant an unsolicited critique. Then, make sure to ask for and value your colleague’s advice on your work performance, to emphasize that critique is a two-way street.

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You can teach your child how to go to the beach in his mind with a guided imagery meditation.

You can teach your child how to go to the beach in his mind with a guided imagery meditation.

The use of meditation as an intervention technique for children with behavioral problems is on the rise, and so is research on how meditation techniques can help, according to a preliminary review of research published in the “Journal of Child and Family Studies.” Your child might be able to benefit from meditation.

Mindfulness

“Psychology Today” defines mindfulness as “a state of active, open attention on the present.” Mindfulness is about living in the moment, not worrying about the past or the future. If your child’s behavior problems stem from anxiety over past events or future desires, it can be useful to help him learn mindfulness techniques. Practice focusing on the present together by reciting mantras. Even repeating something such as “I am here,” either aloud or in his mind, can help your child to focus on what she is doing in the present moment, and enjoy it.

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Choosing friends who make you feel good about yourself will help you succeed.

Choosing friends who make you feel good about yourself will help you succeed.

Several studies have shown that peer groups actually do affect personal success, as people tend to follow the examples of their friends. By virtue of spending significant time together, friends influence behavior. As it turns out, being generous with others and building a network of successful, interesting people can contribute to your success in the long run.

Peer Motivation

Adolescent students’ social lives have a high correlation with their academic success, according to a study on school connectedness by the CDC. Students with many friends in different groups -- crossing race and gender -- reported a higher investment in school and greater satisfaction than those with few friends, or whose social life existed mostly outside of school. Similarly, students whose friends exhibit pro-social behaviors, such as kindness and responsibility, demonstrated those behaviors. 

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